Bed Of Roses
It feels like life has just begun. With all these experience that I have been through, through the ups and the fucking downs, down to the mode of depression was kind of a beautiful experience aye. The most amazing fact of my life is that I got a chance to realize why do people commit suicide? Why do people kill their own wife or husband and even their own child? How people go stars or maybe insane in the eyes of a fucking normal surviving human being?
There are a lot of determining turns in our life that we are always unaware of, unaware of the fact that if we can go through that fucking situation, we can see the goodness, we will be fortunate by the grace of God to see that beautiful scene that we never had thought about, not at least during the phase of depression. It won't come easy for everyone but its another fact that God chooses his best servant to manifest his deeds. As a wise man said just walk this way to the dawn of light, the wind will blow into your face as the year pass you by, hear this voice from deep inside, its the call of your heart, close your eyes and u will find the passage out of the dark.
You were put into an experiment, you passed that and now you are an expectation. I just want to relate this phrase to one of my learning that is what I was convinced is " Yesterday was your experience, today is your experiment so use your experience in your experiment to meet the fucking better expectation aye."
But fear of living alone always hovers however or whatever level of motivation I am having at this moment.
I had never thought of living single or a detached life without a girl in my life. I was longing ever since I can remember I was attracted towards a feminine or opposite sex I most say. I, so far couldn't have understood me, so I am not even complaining that any fucking one whom I considered I loved that they were unable to meet my expectation of Love. No, I don't want to authorize these people to enlighten me with their love. I believe that the way I felt fucking hurt after the catastrophic detachment with my considerable LOVERS, I can only say that these feelings and emotions and the way I felt are already a part of my soul. The way I loved YOU and the way I felt hurt is and was a part of my Pain-body. So I am never considering YOU as a foundation of my Pain. I do have my own world of loneliness where I can be alone with my feelings but just don't want it to mold with my emotions only. I always wanted was and is a true heart who can believe or trust on me and take me to the next level as I am already here to understand her; my Beauty, my Sexy and my LOVE ultimately. Still searching the Soul mate.
There are a lot of determining turns in our life that we are always unaware of, unaware of the fact that if we can go through that fucking situation, we can see the goodness, we will be fortunate by the grace of God to see that beautiful scene that we never had thought about, not at least during the phase of depression. It won't come easy for everyone but its another fact that God chooses his best servant to manifest his deeds. As a wise man said just walk this way to the dawn of light, the wind will blow into your face as the year pass you by, hear this voice from deep inside, its the call of your heart, close your eyes and u will find the passage out of the dark.
You were put into an experiment, you passed that and now you are an expectation. I just want to relate this phrase to one of my learning that is what I was convinced is " Yesterday was your experience, today is your experiment so use your experience in your experiment to meet the fucking better expectation aye."
But fear of living alone always hovers however or whatever level of motivation I am having at this moment.
I had never thought of living single or a detached life without a girl in my life. I was longing ever since I can remember I was attracted towards a feminine or opposite sex I most say. I, so far couldn't have understood me, so I am not even complaining that any fucking one whom I considered I loved that they were unable to meet my expectation of Love. No, I don't want to authorize these people to enlighten me with their love. I believe that the way I felt fucking hurt after the catastrophic detachment with my considerable LOVERS, I can only say that these feelings and emotions and the way I felt are already a part of my soul. The way I loved YOU and the way I felt hurt is and was a part of my Pain-body. So I am never considering YOU as a foundation of my Pain. I do have my own world of loneliness where I can be alone with my feelings but just don't want it to mold with my emotions only. I always wanted was and is a true heart who can believe or trust on me and take me to the next level as I am already here to understand her; my Beauty, my Sexy and my LOVE ultimately. Still searching the Soul mate.
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