A RELATIONSHIP

WHEN LOVE AND HATE COLLIDES

This will hardly come as a surprise to you for I know you know what is on mind. You know I know. I am not saying that I don’t hate you. I hate you more than you hate me. Sometimes even more than I hate you. It’s a hate stronger than any I have known.

I hate you for the way you never call me even though you know my phone number, for the letters you never send though you know my address. I hate you for the way you ignore me, my emails, for the way you stare at me, You disappoint me.

I hate you for the way you always seem to disagree with me, for the way you talk to me, for the way you never listen and for the way you act like you just don’t care. I hate you most because no matter how hard I try to hate you I cannot. I just cannot seem to hate you at all. Not even that tiny tiny bit And than I hate me for what I cannot hate you.

I don’t know what I feel when for you, love and hate collide. I don’t know why we cant be together. Do I love you because you are so good? Do you hate me because I am so bad? Or is it the other way around.

I know we have nothing in common except for our country and some general information but I cannot deny that I see in you what is missing in me. In my search of completeness I found you. And yet I lost you. I am loosing you everyday. That is why I write it this way here. Hoping that you will find me, that I can help you find you. So that we both be complete.


You may think” how the hell is this going to work?” you may sing” Divided we stand, united we will fall.” You are not too wrong. I think the same thoughts in my empty head. But can’t we even try?

I am not telling you that I will change myself for you or turn my world upside down for you I am not that desperate, but if the change for my good, I promise you that I will try. I will not try to change you to fit into my world if you don’t want to. I want you to be just yourself and I will not ask more.

Yes, I do agree that we have nothing in common. That is why I ask you that we enjoy our difference and be always together.

You may think that there are better guys for you out there. I think the same too. May be there are better girls out here for me too. You may not be the prettiest face I have seen but jus cant stop myself thinking about you and you and only you. I am not tall but neither are you should difference in height bother you. We both have shortcomings I acknowledge. But even knowing all this, I don’t know why all I can think of you all the time. I hope you understand.

I leave the ball in your court. You can break, kick or eat. You can do whatever you feel like with it. You can throw it back. If you feel the same way, you know I am here. If you don’t, you have two options-one is to carry on as we were before, friends or enemies I still cannot decide or to part ways and never see each other again. I leave the choice to you . you can tear all that I have written but my life will go on, my heart will continue to live. I will be hurt and the wound may never heal. Or may be it will. They say “ all is fair in love and war” but I say “ all is fear in love and war.”

I am sorry to be breaking this to you this way but I believe feelings count more than expressions. And this is me expressing my feelings bursting out in tears . This is the way I am.